Knife Wound

Hello APC community! My name is Sydney Balan. I am an 18-year-old, black, lesbian woman from Atlanta, Georgia. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve had a passion for writing. I wrote poems to help me express my feelings. I wrote stories with the diverse, nuanced characters I wished to see on bookshelves in Barnes and Noble. My hope is to one day write Black stories where we are the protagonists.

When the deaths of Ahmaud Arbery, George Floyd, and Breonna Taylor hit the world, I couldn’t sleep. I was feeling a range of different, heavy emotions – just like many of us did. But there was also this very strange, very weird feeling that I struggled with. I felt like covered in “blood”. It was all in my head, but I could still feel it as if it was real. It was a haunting feeling. However, when I started protesting, the “blood” began to disappear. I could still feel it, but it wasn’t all over me.  It was like fighting back made the “blood” retract. This poem talks about the “blood” I felt and how I believe that every black person may have this “blood” stain on them.

Knife Wound

Sometimes I feel like there’s blood on me
Even though my hand is clean
And there’s nothing there
But I still feel the old knife wound
That Uncle Sam plunged in my ancestor’s stomach
saying “We are equal, we are one”
And Even though we cried and cried for the knife to come out
Uncle Sam just looked
keeping the knife in
So the wound passed from My Ancestors
To My Great grandparents To My Grandparents
To My Parents To Me
But that wound doesn’t stop at my family
As Uncle Sam stabbed All Black People
Black Man
Black Woman
Black Children
Black LGBT
Black Veterans
Rich Black
Poor Blacks
Incarcerated 
BlacksHomeless
Blacks
Every type of Black Person
But instead of letting Uncle Sam
With His Stupid Smile
Keep that big butcher knife
in OUR GUT
We Say “We are Goddamn Equal, So you better take this Knife out
Or I’m gonna get my own Knife”